From a very young age we've been told what we should do, and how we should behave.
There are certain expectations on what 'normal' behaviour should look like, especially for girls, and then women.
In our culture today, there's more pressure than ever that things should *look* a certain way, so much so, that the picture we paint of ourselves, and our lives, can often mask the reality of what's really going on for us.
How we're seen, or how we think we'll be judged, is given more importance, than understanding or sharing what's really going on for us, and we may be reluctant to share our true emotions.
This suppression, or even in some cases denial of emotions, can lead us to feel confused and overwhelmed.
People have often used terms such as 'emotional', or 'high-maintenance', or described women as being 'too much', as a way of silencing them, or disconnecting them from their own internal power.
Woman have forgotten their power lies in their cyclical way of being, and instead have tried to squeeze themselves in to a linear existence, and can wonder why they feel burnt out, anxious and unfulfilled.
Often if you try and talk to people about this, they can look at you as if you're crazy, but there is another way!
We can spend much of our time trying to conform to the expectations of others.
Comparing ourselves to what we think we should be doing:
how often we should be socialising,
how much we should be getting done in a day,
or how we should look,
that we can totally lose touch with our own reality, and what is normal for us.
As we look back over the weeks, months, and years, it can seem almost impossible to make sense of anything.
Sometimes you have loads of energy, and at other times you just want to hide under your duvet.
Sometimes you want to be surrounded by others, and say 'yes' to all the social engagements, but by the time some of them come around, you find yourself avoiding calls, or making up lame excuses not to attend.
Sometimes you're at the gym 3 or 4 times a week, and sticking to your healthy eating plan with gusto, and at other times you hardly have the motivation to leave the house, and find yourself eating a family size packet of biscuits.
It can be easy to fall into the spiral of self-criticism, and feeling like a flake.
But in fact, you're not crazy, unpredictable, or high-maintenance, you've simply forgotten the wisdom of your own body.
What you're missing is a connection to your own internal rhythms and cycles, so that you can re-establish your centre, and understand what 'normal' is for you.
One of the easiest ways to begin to find your own centre again is to become aware of how you experience the world on a daily basis, through the cycles of being a woman, and you can do this through simple method of Energy Charting.
I have done pretty much every personality quiz invented. I know my Myers Briggs, My Love Language, Archetypal nature. My Ayurvedic Dosha, and My Chinese Five-Element constitution, I even know which Non-Princess, Disney Heroine I'd be (in case you're wondering it's Esméralda from ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’)
I've been living and breathing the world of personal development for decades, on this insatiable quest to learn more about myself and my purpose.
And hand-on-heart, one of the most powerful tools that I have ever used to learn more about myself is the humble Energy Chart.
It would be easy for me to write another 1000 words on the why and how's of using the SHEro's Energy Chart, but I will just say this; women's cycles, whether you bleed or not, conveniently fit into the wider cycle of the moon cycle. Using the moon as your calendar, is a great way to track your own energy, moods, cravings, desires, and skills.
Once you've spent some time doing this - and it only takes 1-2 mins a day, you will be amazed at the patterns you notice in your energy, health, and motivation.
This is an incredibly valuable tool as you can then plan your weeks, months, and years, with a deeper understanding of yourself.
You can schedule in your busy times when you know you'll have the most energy, and plan more self-care, or at least be prepared, or rope in extra support, when you know your energy will be at it's lowest.
Not only does this bring about feelings of contentment, it also makes your relationships more fulfilling, as you have a much deeper self-awareness, understand what your needs are, and value the importance of them being met.
And more importantly....
Instead of looking for external validation, or conformation, you become the expert of you again, and understand what 'Normal' is for you!
If you'd like to learn more about charting, I have put together a free resource for you, including a chart, and an accompanying eBook on how to use it, here>>